The Serpentine Effect
by RinnySega
Summary: [Wander Over Yonder] Lord Hater's minion has a plan to get rid of Wander once and for all, this time sure that the job will be done.


Lord Hater considered himself to be a patient being. One of a sound mind and body that would certainly bring better fortunes to him and his upon the inevitable ruling of the universe. Years had passed, decades turned to the dozens in his efforts of overthrowing every government, every monarchy, every kingdom, city, providence, and hamlet that stood in his way, but in all his triumphs and failures there was always a constant: that thing, Wander. The thorn in his side that seemed to be the ultimate test of will, the little orange cretin who showed up one day riding in a blaze of optimistic glory and never seemed to leave. Unlike his enemies from other governs who swore upon their dying breath to stop him in his path to dictatorship, this creature had no malicious intentions, no ill will toward him whatsoever. Although in his unobservant state of that enduring naivety of his, he always seemed to manage to screw something up in the process, whether it was intention or not, Hater didn't know. Deceiving little one, he thought, although he wasn't sure if Wander could even be described as such.

It was a lonesome night on the ship, another day of travel and another hour of his life wasted on trying to find another means to Wander's permanent end. He was in the middle of a turkey and mustard sandwich, still deep in thought when the pod bay doors opened and his right hand confidant appeared before him, his shoulders bared and straight with confidence.

"Excuse me, eh, sire," Peepers said with a bow upon his entrance. "I hate to interrupt but the new route on our map is completed, and I think I've found a solution to our relevant and pestering, eh, orange-haired problem."

His master didn't acknowledge him but with a cold stare mid-bite that sent a bead of sweat down the back of his uniform. He cleared his throat as he stepped aside and activated the projector on the front screen of his throne room, turning away as not to let the intimidation get the best of him.

"As you can see here," he used a laser pointer to direct his attention to their present location, "we are currently traveling to the Quadra Sigma Kappa sector using this system here." He trailed a line straight across the map without so much as a bump in their route of meteors or planets. "But what I propose is we take this direction here and go in a more uncouth manner." Using the laser pointer, Peepers zigzagged a pattern to several locations on opposite ends of the map before arriving at their destination. "In this order exactly, yes."

"Are you proposing a kind of serpentine effect?" Lord Hater demanded, setting down his food. "We've tried that a million times; it never works the way we plan it. He's always right behind us every step of the way." He paused. "Sometimes forward!"

A powerful fist smashed into the arm of his throne, and Peepers shuddered before slumping his back and hold out his hands. "Sire, sire, please, calm down," he begged. "There is a precise, strategic reason as to why I chose this route; it is to assure these planets will be visited in this particular order, or else our plan will never work."

"Elaborate."

"Yes, as you wish, my lord. Please, observe." His voice softened as he turned back to the map. Hater's eyes followed.

"First is Novina, a recently discovered planet in danger now of flooding in the southern hemisphere, threatening to wipe out any life form below its equator. Second is Brutha, a planet known for the massive over-population problem of its inhabitants. Third is the planet Frin, known for making the finest pillows and sleepy time accessories in the galaxy, if I do say so myself as a loyal customer of theirs." He noticed the glare he received and quickly cleared his throat once more. "Sorry, sir—and last is Vispar. A planet completely made of ice and snow with no known habitation at this point in time."

"So what makes you think this route will solve our problem?" he asked. "Tell me what you're planning."

Peepers turned off the projector and formed back to attention before his master, his eye narrowed on him as a smirk rumbled in his throat.

"Oh, you'll find out, sire, and trust me when I say you will be quite pleased with the end result."


End file.
